Awards season is finally over and all I can say is thank God. Was I the only one tired of hearing nonstop praise for Lincoln and Silver Linings Playbook? And let's not forget about Zero Dark Thirty and its slogan "the greatest manhunt in history." I thought the greatest manhunt was trying to find the door to the theater. I was so bored that I'd rather spend a decade hiding in bin Laden's compound than sit through the first half of Zero Dark Thirty. Seriously.
And then there's Argo and the 1979 Iran hostage crisis winning top prize at the 85th Academy Awards, the top award presented by none other than movie legend Michelle Obama?
What was that shit?
Why must the Academy force feed us this propaganda? Wait - that's because both Hollywood and the government are controlled by Zionist Jews in Israel... Oh, I shouldn't say those things. Enough politics, but why must the government always butt in their noses and contaminate the only sacred event movie-loving Americans have left to enjoy in their minuscule lives? I mean, isn't Hollywood producing piece of crap film after film, and paying $10 a pop enough for audiences to bare?
And if any film deserved more recognition then it received this year, it's Tarantino's Django Unchained, which loosely offers a counterpoint to the Lincoln era, while also staying true to it's cult and exploitation influences. Sure the screenplay won and Christoph Waltz was recognized for his wonderful supporting acting role, but I guess choreographing monster CGI waves is what entitles a "great" director.
And if any film deserved more recognition then it received this year, it's Tarantino's Django Unchained, which loosely offers a counterpoint to the Lincoln era, while also staying true to it's cult and exploitation influences. Sure the screenplay won and Christoph Waltz was recognized for his wonderful supporting acting role, but I guess choreographing monster CGI waves is what entitles a "great" director.
It is these reasons why I believe awards season begins and ends the day before the Academy Awards gets underway.
The Golden Raspberry Awards, also known as the Razzies, is the counterpoint to Hollywood and its red carpet affair, showcasing the year's "worst" in film the day before the Academy chooses their "best." The title comes form the term "blowing a raspberry," as in the films this ceremony recognizes raped and slobbered all over what little quality was available for the Academy to vote on.
The Razzies were founded by John Wilson in 1981 to celebrate the worst in film because he was sick of the extreme gushery practiced at the Oscars. After graduating film school from UCLA and working at a movie trailer company, where he viewed more than 200 films a year, Wilson said in a Times interview, "I happened to pay 99 cents for a double feature of Can't Stop the Music and Olivia Newton John in Xanadu and was refused my money back afterward."
Wilson, a copywriter and publicist, would host parties for his friends every Oscar night at his house, and after the 53rd Academy Awards ceremony had completed, Wilson and friends conducted acceptance speeches of their own in his living room. A press release, written by Wilson, was released after the event and one of the local newspapers picked up the story.
Word eventually spread and Wilson turned the staged ceremony into a real event. Wilson screened two films: Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu (1980), and in front of a cheap cardboard podium and plastered in a just as cheap suit, Wilson opened the envelop for the first worst picture award. Wilson and friends voted Can't Stop the Music as the worst film of 1980, ushering in a new breed of award ceremony.The Razzies are important to the movie industry for two reasons:
1. They show people love shitty movies.
2. The Razzies help embody the cult spirit.
What started as a joke and personal distaste for Hollywood somehow snowballed into a major cultural event. The first Razzie ceremony was attended by only a handful of people, most of which were Wilson's friends. The next year saw an increase in attendance (as was the case with each subsequent ceremony), until the fourth ceremony featured coverage from CNN. Probably the last time this station covered "real" news...
The Razzies held their 33rd ceremony on February 23rd, and while the films may not be cult films, it does praise movies for their so bad they're good quality, or, just considers them pieces of shit. And because of this the Razzies can be considered a cult institution because it recognizes terrible movies, even if the only enjoyment we get from them is pure hatred.
The films on this year's ballot were what one would expect from a ceremony like the Razzies: just think of the worst movie you saw this year or the worst trailer you saw or the worst reviews you've read, and it's likely those films made the cut.
The Razzies does enough highlighting the worst movies released this year, so why focus on the second-rate losers when we can focus on the big loser of the night.
Twilight also scored with Kirsten Stewart winning Worst Actress for her roles in Snow White and the Huntsman and her role as Bella in Twilight. How would it feel if you were told you were a shitty actress, especially in two roles in the same year? Stewart came away from 2012 with two chances of having at least one performance touch a human being on some emotional level, but instead found the only emotion voters felt was disgust having to determine which role was the bigger bomb, so they nominated both. I don't know who had a shittier year - Stewart or Obama.
Twilight also won Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel, an award that pertains closely to cult films in that a majority of cult films either rip one another off, contain a multitude of sequels, or are being remade constantly. Although Breaking Dawn 2 is not a cult film, its so good its bad quality could lend itself to a revival years down the road. I just hope I'm not around to witness it.
Thank you goes out to the Razzies for publically shunning the Twilight Saga and telling all those teenyboppers to fuck off. It's about time someone let the producers know their efforts to produce a quality movie failed, but it's sad knowing it took four sequels for the Razzies to get it right.
2012 was a terrible year for movies, albeit one cult-inspired resurrection. But instead of picking movies that promote what an organization feels would constitute a better world, like it's uglier sister, the Razzies has fun honoring the leftover crap. And thank God for that.
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